Apple banned giving a refund to a bloke for the craziest reason

Prove to us you are not a zombie dictator from Babylon 

Apple has come up with a wizard wheeze to stop people claiming refunds on its over-priced products. It is demanding that you prove that you are not a dead dictator.

According to the Current Bun a bloke who realised he had made a mistake getting his sister an iPhone as a present. She had more sense and did not want it, so he took it back to his local Apple store and he tried to get a refund.

Sharakat Hussain was gob-smacked when his request for a refund was turned down because the fruity cargo cult insisted he was a ruthless Iraqi dictator who was hanged in 2009 after being toppled by a US coalition who were searching for mythical weapons of mass destruction.

According to Apple the refund had been denied because Saddam Hussein was on a “Government Denied Parties list” of people they are legally forbidden to sell to.  Apple did not give a Saddamn about the fact that Hussain, whose name is even spelt differently from the decomposing dictator, had already bought the phone without a hitch. After all, people are not supposed to return goods so those who do must be Zombie dictators from Babylon – it just makes perfect sense.

What Apple wanted, before he got his cash, an email with a box ticked which confirmed he was not Saddam Hussein. After all, if you are a ruthless dictator who killed thousands of your own people with chemical weapons, who has somehow managed to cheat the hangman and moved to the UK, you are going to confess all of this to Apple.

Sharakat, of Great Barr, Birmingham, said: “I thought the email was spam and was stunned to learn it was real. I was furious being linked to Saddam.”

To be fair to Apple you could almost hear the sound of the PR person’s head hitting the desk when the Sun got in touch with the story. A spokeswoman offered Apple’s “sincerest apologies” and promised to sort it out right away. Given that Apple never admit liability for anything other the rounded rectangle this is a strong statement indeed.