Grace Ives:
This music is a step outside of the house. It’s ambitious in its attempt to capture my will to change. I’ve always waited around for things to get better in my life rather than taking action and responsibility. I’ve stayed at jobs that I hated for far too long, stayed inside or in bed for days ignoring outside advice, hurting my body and asking God to make my pain go away instead of breaking my own destructive cycles. In 2023, after touring Janky Star, I hit a true rock bottom and have been finding my way out of the dark hole I dug for myself since then. I was drinking, lying and hiding. I fell down stairs; I called out sick; I stole; I was a shitty girlfriend, a bad daughter; I abandoned the few friends I had; I cried and vomited beyond bile. Gross. When I finally stopped drinking, I stopped lying. I gave up trying to control everything and let life take over. I saw my life clearly. Yes, I was miserable—my boyfriend haaaated me (valid), my friends and family were disappointed and hurt (fair), and my tailbone was FUCKED—but I actually saw my life for what it was: a disaster! I had abandoned myself, abandoned my path, abandoned music and love. I snapped out of it and made a slow-motion return to my place in the world.
What I write about in this music follows this story of my “crash out,” if you will—a life of drinking and hiding and hurting that ended in betrayal and hospital bills galore, and the will to change that followed. It’s the confidence of the storm and the clarity in the calm of the aftermath (douchey). I’ve lived in one place my whole life. I’ve loved one person my whole life—and I believe this is beautiful, but I’ve had an honest desire to experience more that hadn’t been actualized until I came to California to write.
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